A romantic relationship is a relationship based on the existence of a shared feeling of love. The birth of the latter results most of the time from a mutual and progressive discovery following a meeting. It also results from the evolution of a friendly relationship or more rarely from love at first sight which then gives the impression of a very strong compatibility between the people who experience it; an impression which can go as far as the idealized notion of a soul mate.
Less commonly, a romantic relationship can also develop as a result of an arranged marriage or a fleeting one-night stand. Although it may be devoid of it, a romantic relationship is almost always the basis for a physical and emotional rapprochement in the short or medium term.
Depending on the wishes and plans of each person, the latter may end after some time or be established over the long term.
In every culture and throughout the ages, the relationship of a couple implies specific codes. In some cases, it can only be authorized within the framework of marriage. The forms of love and relationships are therefore totally diverse.
Emotions, dreams and desire thus coexist with moments of disappointment, frustration and sometimes rupture. Incidents which interfere in some cases with physical or mental health.
Change partner
Changing your spouse is not enough to have a better relationship. Just as breaking ties with your family is not enough to erase the wounds, leaving is not enough to forget.
When the problem also comes from us, we carry it wherever you go.
It is not necessarily others who are bad or toxic. Without knowing it, we too can be very bad partners, brothers and sisters, and also ruin the lives of those close to us. Whether it is through our unsatisfied needs, our traumas, our immaturity or even our selfishness.
To love desperately and cling to crumbs of affection to feel that you exist. “Better this than nothing,” we sometimes think.
The problem ?
Good partners eventually get tired and run away. We smother them, we scare them. Loved ones start to avoid us, they can’t stand our constant complaints and mistakes. They get tired of giving advice that we don’t follow.
You can be a good person but emotionally very disturbed.
We can also be good company but difficult to live with on a daily basis, so much have the traumas transformed us.
Looking at yourself objectively is a very difficult exercise. It is often easier to dwell on what is wrong with you. It is certainly reassuring, but not very constructive.
Leaving a relationship without understanding what role we also played in that failure does not help us grow. At the next crossroads, we risk reproducing or contributing to the same dynamic and getting the same result.
Why did you choose this man? This woman? What did you see in him/her that was unfortunately only the fruit of your shortcomings? Of your disappointed hopes?
There is no magic formula
You can be unhappy in a healthy relationship, just as you can be happy in an unhealthy relationship. The solution doesn’t always lie in a new relationship, running away, or being single.
An unresolved problem remains active, and over time, can end up crystallizing. We leave… but we are still unhappy. We end up having low self-esteem and losing confidence in our ability to make the right choices.
Leaving is not always changing and maturing. Leaving what makes us suffer is often just a step on the path to self-discovery. To understanding, to learning.
Changing your lifestyle means finding new ways to feel better.